Are We Still Living In A Male Dominated Society?

"Existing patriarchal theory has no place for women as women; at best, women can be incorporated as pale reflections of men." (Great quote, but can't remember the author).

I guess it depends on who you are talking to and since you are reading my blog you are talking to me. I am going to have to go with "yes" on this one. I believe in Luce Irigaray's words when she discusses how there is no women's language and since there is not a language for women, things will never change. I want to add at least not until we either create a new language or perhaps redefine the language and codes that already exist. Women are in the margins.

This year we had Hilary Clinton running for president she made history. I wouldn't have voted for her, but she opened many doors for women. And then just like anything else dealing with feminism there was a back lash and her name was Sarah Palin. But I digress because even when history was being made with these two women it was still so very clear how far we still have to go for equality. I mean it was "news" that Hilary Clinton had cleavage showing. Seriously this was what was being shown on news channels.

I am obviously obsessed with Google. On my latest search I googled male dominated society. It brought up images of, surprise surprise, naked or scantily clad women and then women who look like they are of possibly Middle Eastern descent. I think that it's hysterical that the U.S version of Google brings up women who might of been under Taliban rule as if they are the only one's who are living in a male dominated society. The Taliban is an extreme case of that and much worse, but the U.S in all it's glory a male-dominated, women getting paid less than men society.
Until women get on the page and out of the margin that is how it is always going to be.

Is Feminism A Universal Ideology?

"Slut"
"So! You're fat and ugly and that's why your boyfriend left you for me!"

That's about the time that the hair begins to be pulled and the clothes torn on the Jerry Springer Show or Maury Povich or any other "talk show" that pits women against women. Sadly it is not just talk shows anymore, it has move a step up, or down, depending on how you look at it. Now women who love to fight with other women have their own t.v show called "The Bad Girls Club". Women trying to out do other women by being the worst woman they can be. Past bad behaviors have included, but are not limited to: peeing in the sink, spitting in other girl's juice, fighting with girls, showing off their cookies on camera, going to jail and they list goes on and on.
I never understood the women on these shows. How are you fighting with women? Why aren't you yelling at the man who you loved and supposedly loved you? The biggest thing I could never understand was how I could be interested in watching such crap. But I did.
I tried to talk myself into believing that yes I was watching this garbage, but I was doing it with a critical eye so it made it ok. I hate when I see women fight over a man. Why are women so easy to blame the other woman instead of the man who left you for that woman? I hate seeing women fight in general. I think it's ridiculous and generally it's about ridiculous things. But the mass media makes women who watch these shows believe that it is somehow "natural" for women to fight against women. That women can't trust women. That all women do is stab each other in the back. Which isn't the case the majority of the time and perhaps wouldn't be the case at all if women would stop watching shows that pit women against women for revenue.
I've also noticed on "family" sitcoms a family who is headed by a fat, balding, stupid father and a skinny, witty, sarcastic wife. The wife is a huge commodity in these sitcoms because she is a trophy wife and that is all she is. Ok maybe that's not fair. She is also mean to her husband and likes to humiliate him. I guess that is the media's way of equaling out the gender issue on t.v. Because that is equal? So if I'm a little kid watching this "family" show I am getting the message, if I'm a girl, that all I need to be is pretty in life, it doesn't matter how I obtain this beauty whether by eating disorders or implanting foreign objects into my body, and then I will end up with someone who let's me humiliate him all the time. And if I'm a boy, I don't need to worry about what I look like because I will end up with a hot wife, which is more important than how she treats me because I'm only with her for her looks anyway. What kind of messages are these for our kids. I know. I know. I sound like one of those radical conservatives who go as far as to have the Cosmo magazines covered up in the grocery store, but I guess with the back lash from the feminist movement comes the back lash of ultra conservatism.
Women need to stop watching these shows not only because women shouldn't be economically supporting shows that don't support them, but also for their own self worth as a woman. Women need to tell pop-culture that what is seen on the "reality" t.v is not reality. That sitcoms don't represent real families. That women can be more than just pretty and/or mean. Don't women understand that "the man" (although it is more than likely in this day and age that it is "the woman") is keeping them down by putting women against women. Women are being kept down by worrying about such little things that can't see the big picture. Women are not wanted to see the big picture, because if we do then we might actually accomplish something greater than a youtube video showing a group of girls beating up one girl. We might actually fulfill a mission or a goal or even several goals that are worthwhile, and that scares people. I hope that things are about to get scary.

That's Not The F* Word I'm Talking About

My name is Leslie Conder and I am a FEMINIST. Just saying that makes me feel a little bit like a hypocrite. Some days I feel like I am working more for the woman's cause than others. Maybe I'm more of a FeMiNiSt.
I grew up in a house with a single mother raising 6 children by herself, no help from child-support and definitely no help from welfare. I use the word definitely because my mom is a very stubborn woman who doesn't like handouts and can do everything by herself, for herself and her children. My mom had to work a lot to provide her children with the bare necessities. She taught me how to be a hard working, self-sufficient woman.
When I was around 13 my grandmother came to live with us. My mom wanted to watch over my grandmother in her old age and figured it would be great to have the extra eyes and ears around the house. I had been cooking my own food on the stove since I was probably 4, and inside of the oven probably around 6. I started making the Sunday family dinners around the age of 9. Although I was the youngest I knew that meal would never be cooked if I didn't make it myself.
When my grandmother moved in I started experimenting with cookbooks and cooking whatever looked the best in the pictures. I remember one evening after I made Swedish Steaks my grandmother told me that I was going to make some husband a very good housewife. I smiled and felt very good about myself and my future.
I remember hearing the word feminist for the first time when I was in Junior High. Some Gothic looking girl walked by, and somebody made the remark that she was a feminist. My girlfriend said the word feminist as if it was the equivalent to the word Bitch (which sadly no longer holds the strong negative connotations for me as it once had). I asked her what a feminist was and she said it is a Nazi lesbian who hates men. I new from that moment on that I never wanted to be a feminist because I hated Nazi's and I loved men.
When my older sister came home a couple of years later, looking somewhat identical to the girl I had seen at school I asked her if she was a feminist. She said of course I am. I questioned how she could have a boyfriend then. She then gave me my first lesson on feminism. I needed to know more and so when I started at college I enrolled in my first Women's Studies class. I learned something that I had already known, but it seemed new, the epiphany I had was this, "with knowledge comes great responsibility, and even more than that, great accountability".
I'm on a journey an exploration of myself and the world around me. I realize that I am going on this journey late in life, I am 27 after all. I am trying to figure out what feminism is and if I really am a feminist? How did I grow up with 2 very strong women to look up to and never once hear of Gloria Steinem? I am trying to find out why women fought for equal rights for themselves and future generations including my generation. I am trying to figure out how these women who fought for equal rights became demonized? Why when I was growing up did no girls except for the "out casts" want to be known as feminists? Can feminists have bad self images? Does knowing who you are mean that you have to put yourself into a certain category? Can feminism be defined? Does sex and sexuality have anything to do with feminism and/or female liberation? Can feminism even be defined? There are more questions to be asked and answered?
If anyone wants to contribute or offer up any answers to these questions I would love to hear from you. Any stories that you would like to add about your own personal journey to becoming a feminist will help me, I have no doubt, on my journey.