Let's Talk F* Word Comments

I have had some friends make really great comments about my blog. Obviously anyone can just read the comments, but I felt it necessary to make some comments about the comments. Some of their comments will be by their name with black writing. My responses and thoughts to their words will follow in RED writing.

Mandy-The thing I think about the most related to feminism is how LDS men view women's roles--especially in our generation. It seems like there are a lot of young LDS men who (perhaps as a result of the feminist movement) expect women to be ambitious and driven, but then also (perhaps in response to the teachings of the church) expect women to be willing to give up careers and ambitions the second they say "I do." It seems like a strange double-standard that I've spent lots of time trying to reconcile in my mind.

Mandy I feel that I should preface what I am about to say. I am not downing the LDS religion. I am not saying that all LDS men are the way in which I am about to discuss. Having said that, I would have to say that as an active LDS woman I have felt and seen this happen and it is very sad to me. I know that saying LDS men just want a trophy Victorian housewife that looks good and doesn't have an opinion ( or at least keeps that opinion to herself) is a large generalization. I know that my brother's who are also active in the LDS church do not think like that. However, I do feel that many Utah LDS men are like that. I believe that many LDS men are intimidated by women who are educated and even know more than the man in different subjects. One of my LDS friends was recently told that because she is going for her PhD that she would never get married. Another friend of my just told me the exciting news that she is going to buy a house. Sadly the first thing that I thought of was it's going to be very hard for her to find a husband. I don't know why men, especially LDS men in Utah, seem to be so intimidated by women who are just living their lives to their full potential. I am not writing this to down my religion or the men in it, quite the opposite. I hope that they will read this and if they can identify with my frustration than maybe they'll change.

Alissa-Should feminism really be about turning the tables on men and making them the weaker sex? Or turning them into villains? I feel that I am a feminist in my own way. I am all for fair treatment. My feathers get ruffled when I hear a sexist comment. But I also think feminism should be about celebrating women. We are different from men and we should celebrate that difference. Not that we should say we are better than men, but just different. As a full time mom, there are times that I have felt looked down on because I have chosen a more "traditional" job. I don't think that feminism should be solely about women out in the work force. My job is tough and doesn't end at 5pm. I still deserve respect for what I have chosen to become.

Alissa I agree that stay at home mom's deserve the same respect "working" mom's do. The working is in quotes because I know that stay at homes work very hard at their job as well. Women and men are different, no better and no worse from one another, just different. In my opinion feminism is about choice. Whether a woman chooses to have a job or stay at home doesn't matter, it's the fact that that woman was able to make the choice for herself instead of letting her husband, or the government or anyone else decide for her. I believe that women, largely in part due to mass media, worry about what the "true" definition of feminism is that we stopped making progress, and even more than that I feel that we haven't just stopped but now we are taking steps backwards. It's very sad.

Mem-I would say that feminism has moved from the first and second wave into a new third wave that is going on right now. One that focuses much less on women empowerment and more on gender equality, which, it turns out, (i feel like) has become all about the boys. letting boys be okay with being effeminate or gentle, without the pressure to be "macho" and to play sports etc. I see it as moving away from gender inequality as sex vs. sex, male vs. female, and moving into a space where it's okay to disengage oneself from gender conformity to stereotype. freedom to be what is most "natural" for you, whether you are male or female.

Mem- It's very interesting to think, and yet not at all shocking, the this new gender equality would become all about the hegemonic man. Although, and I am sure you agree, I feel that men and women should be who they are and not what the media or some stereotype tells them they are, I wish that it could happen for both sexes equally.



(1996), 95% of women can recognize and identify the ideal body shape espoused by popular entertainment, and 92% feel the strong desire to conform to these unrealistic standards. n my eyes, emancipation and true freedom to live authentically chosen lives is possible when media consumers critically reflect on the ideology of mass media in shaping our understanding of “what exists, what is good, and what is possible” (Lexie-Feminism, to me, is being able to have the ability and choice to live authentically chosen lives - the lives we were born to live. It's not about man hating, bra burning, or lesbianism. It was never meant to be, though the media has skewed the reality of the feminism movement. I am a graduate student who is an active Latter-day Saint. I am also a feminist, and I believe those two identities fit perfectly together. I hear more uplifting, inspiring, empowering messages about what it means to be a woman within the gospel of the LDS religion than I have ever heard before. Christ was, in fact, the first public champion of women! At a time when women were not even spoken to in public, Christ loved and cared for the adulteress, the Samaritan woman at the well, and his best friends were women who were the first to see him resurrected and his mourners at the cross. Just as Marx (1967) believed industrialization’s substructure was seen as “creating an unnatural condition whereby all humans are prevented from realizing their fullest nature,” (p. 212) I believe shining a critical lens on mass media, more specifically popular culture, reveals many of those same demeaning, dehumanizing, unrealistic messages. As a scholar, I am highly intrigued by popular media’s depictions of women. These images, I argue, are hegemonic representations of an ideal female body, which is unrealistic and often unattainable. Judging by statistics that claim the average American woman watches four hours of television every day (Straubhaar & LaRose, 1999), and by the time the average woman reaches age 70, she will have spent the equivalent of seven to ten years watching television (Hammermeister, 2004, p.254), the overwhelming images of ideal female beauty on TV have potentially far-reaching consequences for women and men. Furthermore, according to Murray, Touyz, & BeumontTherborn, 1980, p.18). I am committed to the critical analysis of hegemonic female beauty as we are further flooded with mass media’s constant flow of information because I believe self reflection is the first step to EMPOWERMENT, the first step to realizing the unnatural conditions we are so often socialized to accept without questioning, the first step toward realizing our fullest nature. In essence, I am driven by the belief that if we can spend less time worrying about ourselves and media’s standards of beauty we do not meet, we can contribute much more good to the world around us.

I rest my case.